Your Mind Matters EP 5 - Eating Disorder Awareness Week
Living with an Eating Disorder
Today is Eating Disorder Awareness day, so we are here with another informative blog that we hope will increase you knowledge, share a real persons experience and squash any myths. The blog will be split into different segments; the first below is an insight into Anorexia, bravely shared by an individual from our community. This is their story…
I'm not sure how it all started or how it came about, but I'll start by saying I've always been self-conscious and worried about my weight and the way I look. So when people noticed it getting worse, which was in my last year of university. It was stressful with essays and my dissertation coming closer and closer. I broke my foot, which meant I couldn't really get around the house let alone get to work and walk all day, so money was a worry too. With all these stresses I become fixated on losing weight and not gaining weight. So I started weight watchers and this didn't fit my lifestyle after my foot had healed because of working 13 hour shifts where you're lucky if you get a break. So calorie counting started and so did the gym. My life had completely changed I finished university, worked a stressful full time job whilst living in London, with a lot more social factors to go on top of that. So I turned to what I knew, controlling food, my weight and how much I exercised. Quickly it become excessive amount of exercise and minimal food and my weight plummeted and it continued to until one of the girls I lived with forced me to the GP who quickly diagnosed me with Anorexia Nervosa and depression, I started outpatient treatment in London.
Unfortunately the outpatient treatment didn't work for me, and I ended up worse than when I started there to the point I couldn't work. So I moved home and realised I couldn’t cope and between the depression and Anorexia I couldn't see anyway out other than ending it all. Which got me in touch with the crisis team who were great help, they got me to an eating disorder unit in Warwickshire where my now consultant admitted me as an urgent case due to my heart suffering now and the state of my mental health.
No one will ever say that being in a mental health unit is this best time of your life because it really isn't. But they truly helped me gain my life back slowly but surely. Inpatient treatment didn't just involve gaining weight, because they don't just treat the symptom they treat you're mental health. After every meal we were made to have supervision for and hour where we had the chance to explore what was going on mentally and what the blocks are. This helped so much and so many of us because we could understand each other and staff would help us get past the thought. The nursing staffs were absolutely incredible and helped everyone.
Fast forward to a healthy weight and I'm slowly being introduced into society again after months of being in hospital 24/7. Fast forward to now am I'm still a healthy weight, still struggling with it all and my mental health, but living in the real world, and working again and socialising. I still have regular appointments with my consultant, I still have 2 different types of therapy and have input from a dietician, but I'm able to start and try to carry on with my life.
The things I wish I knew was that Anorexia is not the stereotype it is made out by the media. It can happen to anyone, any race, any gender and any age. That would have helped me accept it. And I wish I knew that keeping stuff inside and not talking does not help at all. You need to talk. And something I have learnt is that it affects so many people without you even knowing, because not everyone gets to the stage where you are a low weight, but you can suffer at normal weight or a higher weight, because it's not a physical illness its a mental illness. It's in your mind and mine had a physical symptom but not all do. And I have learnt that it's okay to ask for help if you need it, it doesn't make you weak, just gives you the support you need.
And I wish people would understand that just because you look a certain way doesn't mean you're mental health is okay.
